Saturday, November 7, 2009

~going back in a shell~

Good afternoon. I do hope that everyone is doing and feeling good. So far so good, here, no one has; {knocking on wood} not gotten any of those colds and flues. I'm due to get my shots here soon. Last week went well. Everything went smoothly. We were all thankfull. The Memorial was held at the house he lived and died in with Dh's mom. I am not at all kidding when I say "at least" 300 people came by! Those that know the house know how small it is. And most of them being his family. He did have a very large family. Dh still hasn't meat all of them. I stayed the better of the day with him. Nena and his Aunt were the only ones left.
I had a dermatologists appointment last week. My god! Now she wants me to put the same tar stuff and a cream on my hands and feet! OK...thats what she/we did in the begining! Meaning it didn't work! Plus she put me on another medication thats very hard on my body! So I wonder whats going to go this time, my kidneys? She actually had me get a blood test ran to see what certain organs weren't so ill! On my left foot, my pinkie toe is basically dead and eaten by this crap thats all over my foot. She said that I'll probably loose it. Well then lets get started and done with it. Its a mess. Whats on my hands and whats on my feet are different. I have an extreme case of eczme {SP} on my hands. That was caused by my stress. It liked to have killed me when I lost my someone I knew for a long time and held very deeply. I get nerve bumps then hives and now this when my stress is very very high. And thats how it moves as well. So as soon as I am able to get rid of this on my hands, I will need to be locked in a sound proof room! lol
Which reminds me. It's been awhile so I'm not sure if I've typed about this yet. It's just so many things that I just don't let bother me anymore. None of these ailnesses are bothering. So what if I have_____! It's like I don't have anything, because my body is just so beaten down and used by them to the point to where it's numb from them. I'm getting hearing aids now!
I've been feeling like I've been just going right back into a shell that I used to be in when I was young. I guess it's like a safty thing, like the masking. Anymore, if anything is going to happen to or for me, everyone knows where I am.
I need to go now.
God bless all of you!


Arlene (AJ) said...

Lisa so sorry that you are feeling so badly is like that, we're doing alright and then we get hit with so many things, you just have to allow yourself to take it one day at a time and do whatever you have too to not allow the stress to get to you. Stress can cause so many problems with your health. As we get older, we have more family losses, just allow yourself to remember the good times you shared with those who you loved...know they wouldn't want you to grieve or dwell as they are in a better place and at peace. You take care of yourself dear first.

Connie said...

AWW GEEZ,Lisa...I am so very sorry for what you are going through...and GOD BLESS YOU!!!..wish like hell you could just be healed and whole again.
Love ya lady!!