You know, I have facebook and an old friend from school contacted me. I was so excited because it had been years since we last spoke. We talked on the phone and got caught up and I told him that I wanted to tell him something that I wanted to tell him back in school when we dated. We talked back and forth and he's a busy person. So one day I came out with what it was I wanted to say. It was about my stepdad sexually abusing me and my mom knew about it. This was last summer. I haven't heard from him since. And he tells me and always has been a Christian. I wasn't expecting a pity party from him, just to still remain the same as we always were. I was painfully shy at that time and he wanted to know why, so I finally told him. I mean when he was married, I was friends with his wife and our daughters played together. I really thought I knew this person after all these years. I guess it just comes down to a person wants to feel like they "matter" to someone. And it even comes down to being a mom and you're the last person to find out about everything. Why talk to everyone else when I'm right here 24/7? Waiting. And when I call, they're maybe busy to talk to me. I hate to text. It hurts my fingers. Or even straight out asking face to face, talk to me. Nope. Its someone else. That's where I've failed as a mother. There must be a reason my own kids won't talk to me when they have a problem. And I don't say anything just that I'm always here for you. As a mother I still feel the need to "be needed". Is that a bad thing?
I had more on my mind than I thought I did. I feel so much better clearing it all out. Well...I hope that everyone has a great day and thank you to my followers! :o)