Fat Cat

There are two friends at a bar late one night. One holds a cat everywhere he goes. he never wears a watch. The friend finally asks him, "What's with the cat?" The man responds, "I use it to tell time. " As the two are leaving the bar, the second man is pondering how this is possible. He finally asks his friend, puzzled, "So how does it tell time?" The man gives the cat a hard squeeze around its middle. The cat lets out a long meow, very loud. Down the street, a woman opens her window to yell, "What's with all the racket? It's one in the morning!!!"