Sunday, February 8, 2009

~tHIS iS tHE sTRAW

Photobucket Well, I cried myself to sleep last night. The lsat that I looked, it was 4:00. With the fibromyalgia I can't get overly upset or overly happy. Both can make me have a stroke/heart attack. My body is wwhat I'm talking about. Last night dh and I were wacthing Saw5 and it was nice and relaxing. I came in here to show him 3 videos of Kayden....I couldn't find them!!! I strarted to have a panic attack. But I did find somethingso horrid that I know who did it, put stuff on my computer!!!! :o( I feel like I'm oging to just lose it! I'm so hurt and I've had to feal with this exact same thing when he was in jr high school. :o( It's to the point to where hes unreachable now....I've DONE ALL I COULD FOR HIM AND STILL NONE OF IT WORKED!!!!!!!!! iN THE LAST HOUSE THAT WE LIVED IN, i HAD TO PUT ALL OF THE THINGS OF MINE IN MY OFFICE ROOM AND i PUT A BOLT LOCK ON MY DOOR EVEYTIME i LEFT WEATHER HE WAS THERE OR NOT!!!!!!!! nOW I NEED TOO FIND A WAY FOR THIS SITUATION!!!!! aND SINCE HE'S 26 i WILL TAKE ALL ACTIONS NEEDED!!!!!!! mY NERVES ARE SHOT!!!!! i'M REALLY TRYING TO STAY AS CALM AS i CAN!!!!!! tOO BAD i CAN'T WALK, I WOULD JUST TAKE OFF ON A RUN TO HELP!!!!!! i CAN'T STTOP CRYING AMS SHALING!!!!!! i'M TRYING TO STAYING FOCUSED...i REALLY AM TRYING!!!!! :O( i FEEL LIKE MY STOMACH WAS PUNCHED MANY TIMES LAST NIGHT AND NOW TODAY!!!!!!! i REALLY NEED HELP. mAYBE WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS BECAUSE I WASN'T LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS YOUNG!!!! i JUST CAN'T SEEM TO WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND IT. i'VE TRIED!! IT'S JUST NOT THERE FOR ME. i'M GOING TO BED....MY HEAD FEELS LIKE ITS GOING TO BUST OPEN....i GOT A MIGRAIN LAST NIGHT AND IT FEELS THAT WAY AGAIN!!! dAMN IT!!!!i REALLY DON'T NEED THIS EXTRA PAINS!! PLEASE PRAY FOR MY LOST SON/? i THINK i'LL GO OUT ON THE PORCH AND SCREAM UNTIL I FEEL BETTER, OR UNTIL THE COPS ARE CALLED ON ME!!!!!!! i HATE CRYING!!!! lSIA

15 comments:

Penny said...

I am sorry about your troubles and I will be praying for both you and your son. Blessings, Penny

Heli gunner Tom said...

Lisa,
I am also sorry for all your troubles and you probably know about "tough love." Many times that is the ONLY way kids respond.
I have some serious family problems of my own. Email me , please.

Tom S
tschuckman@aol.com
Wisconsin.

Pamela said...

I don't know what to say Lisa. Try and take it easy and calm down. Try and think of a solution. Maybe your husband can help you.
Take care

Nancy said...

Hey Lisa
I dont understand what your son is lost to...but I see he must be doing things that upset you to the extreme which is bad for you. He is old enough to go out on his own. He should and he will be BETTER off and could recuperate if he leaves. My hubby was a lost son and he was just put out the door. He's great now! My sister in law however, they kept helping her and guess what she is still a drug addict at home causing her mom and everyone else problems. I dont know what to tell you but tough love is sometimes all you can do.

Arlene (AJ) said...

Sorry Lisa that you are in so much anquish over the home situation, have your DH help you out so that your stuff is kept secured from others. You sound so stressed out, not good for you or your health. Try not to let things upset you so. Just take care.

Kathy said...

I am so sorry to hear that you are having so many problems with your son. At his age maybe it would be best for him -- and your relationship with him -- if he got his own place.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Lisa said...

Awwwww hon, Big Hugs to you, Love Lisa

AGirlNexDoorCreation said...

Prayers going up for you...hang in there hun...wishing you the best with this situation. Hugs,TerryAnn

AGirlNexDoorCreation said...

Big hugs and prayers going up for you Lisa...hang in there...I know you are having a hard time right now..Hugs,TerryANn

DB said...

Lisa I just wrote you a long sympathetic comment but I had a very hard time posting it and then it disappeared. I'm sorry. DB

Amanda said...

((((((((((LISA))))))))))))I am sorry I havent been around much.Just know,you are always in my thoguths and prayers.I am praying for you always and for your Son.

Connie said...

Lisa-I didthe tough love with our son and in the shape you're in you are not able to deal with that...but you do need not to be stressing over this..all you can do is ..let it be...quit worrying yourself sick and that's what you're doing..you
need to just take deep breaths and take care of you..they will all have to deal with their own drama.
you know I love ya girl!!!

Robyn said...

I am so sorry hun that things are so rough for you right now! I truly don't understand what happened, but it clearly has you super upset and I am sorry for that! Big hugs coming your way my friend!

CINDY said...

(((((((((Lisa))))))))) so sorry your so upset over your son's doings. I will put him in prayers along with you also.
Love,
Cindy xoxo

Merry'sthoughtshopesdreamsandshemes said...

This is horrible. It's heartbreaking. But you must let him deal with his problems.

I am praying for you. Stay calm as possible.
Merry

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