Good day all! I posted a picture of my Christmas tree, and I'm hoping it worked...lol! It's suppose to be at the top of this posting, :D I hope that all are doing well. I miss you all very bad! I know you are all on line, but since all summer, about 4 mmonths, I couldn't get access to get on line. I kind of feel "out of the loop." lol Ok, the picture that I posted is of my Christmas tree. My two oldest grandsons decorated it! :D I LOVE it! I'm not going to change one thing about it. I think it's just beautiful! They did a great job! My oldest, Kayden, did the left side and my two year old did the right side! I took pictures of them standing by the tree as well...by their "work!' :D The youngest, Ashton, was taking a nap! :o) He's 9 months old. I also have another grandbaby on the way as well! A girl this time! YAY! :D This will be her, my daughter's, last one. Now I'm just waiting on my son! lol He tells me that he doesnt want any children. We'll see! :D Well...I've moved since my last post. It's been the best thing that I've done. :o) My stress level has dropped to a normal range! YAY! :D I moved the first of October. It's a cute little house that just fits me! I found it when my aide and I were taking this stree just by accident to go home. There were two other people ahead of me, but she let me have the house! She said she trusted me. And I haven't let her down. She still likes me alot! :o) Just today I went to look out the front door to look at the snow falling and noticed something in the door. She hand delivered a Christmas card to me! God bless her! By the way, if anyone would like my new address, please just email me and I will give it to you. :D Since I've been off line, my health has went up and down. lol Whew! Some things went up and some went down! lol But thats to be expected. :o) Not sure if I wrote about them, but I'm going to again anyways! :o) I'm losing my hearing. I wear a hearing aid in my left ear. I'm suppose to wear one in both but my insurance only paid for one and I picked the worse ear for the aid. I'm losing my eye sight. I went through extensive tests and even an eye MRI and it showed all of the damaged inside my eyes! Good Grief! Something I wasn't expecing. The doctor said there isn't anything that can be done about it, no surgery, no glasses. Well, I have a type of reading glasses. And the reason he said that I'm losing my eye sight is because of the MS. He said that it depends on the MS and what it does on what and how bad my eye sight will get worse. And when it does, it will stay that way as well. So far my eyes have gotten worse but dealing with it. I don't drive anymore. It's probably been about two months or more. :o) If I feel that I can, I will. If I do go out to a store, it really takes a long time for my eyes to focus. I hope no one that I know sees me and I don't see them and thinks I'm snobing them. :o( Oh well...can't help it. :o) lol My back has gotten a bit worse. Again, as to be expected. I've been going to a pain clinic for my back,hips and leg pain. They're having me go to get injections in my tail bone for my pains. I've already had two and I go back this week for my third one. It's the last one for now. I do get relief from them. The first and second day are the most painful, then I can feel some relief! :o) Thats what counts! :o) Think I'll go now. My daughter is here! YAY! :o) I sure hopw everyone is doing great! :D Have a wonderful day!

~To be 46

It seems to take me longer to get to this blog and put an entry in. Stay with me here, ok? A few times here lately I've had some words and actions done and said to me that has reminded me of my past as a little girl. Not good. I've been having nightmares and waking up to a room with things all thrown around my room. Theres a painful quality when you grow up and you're not noticed correctly, and then to be 46 and to have a fist full of illnesses and to still not reallybe perceived correctly is very painful. Like reliving some of the bad. Right now, my mom won't talk to me if I have talked to my other sister!!! Seriously?! Everytime I've seen her or have talked to her ( since Thanksgiving ), see will ask me if I've talked to her and if I have she'd be mad at me! We have no idea what is going on as to why she is doing this to us. >sigh< I know that I was pushed back and forth from our house and then to my grandma's house. I NEVER minded that. Thats where I wanted to be. I was taken care of properly. And my sister was pushed from our house to her Aunts house. Thats where she wanted to stay too. I remember not talking much to anyone. When I did want to talk, it was important and needed to be heard. I was just used to not talking because I didn't seem important enough to be heard. One day, my grandma brought me back home. My mom was the only one there. I walked in and sat on the couch. They were discusing the situation. Grandma left. I got all nervouse. The only thing she said/yelled to me was, can't you get up and put your things away?' So I did and I came back out and said to her that, ' Is that all you have to say to me, you couldn't have said welcome back, I love you or have givien me a hug?' She just sat there, so I went to my room and cried. I'm going through all of her shit the samme time that I'm going through all of the shit my stepdad was doing to me as well. My sister and I had each other our whole lives. She came and lived with me when she turned 12, and She didn't move out until she was probably 19 or so. And that was without any money or any help from her parents. Right now...with my health issues; I haven't really talked about it lately. my ms is getting the best of me some days. >ggguuurr< >sigh< Well I guess I've bored you all to tears if you got this far! lol Just my life. This is being me and 46! LOL Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love Truly! Love and laugh uncontrollably!